Goodbye.........

Everyone at WTCCR would like to thank you all for reading our blog. Our mission was to write posts that would brighten your day, we hope you found it comical and maybe even learned a thing or two. Sadly, the time has come for this blog to come to a close. Goodbyes are never fun, unless it's to something you don't like, and we hope that isn't the case here. But maybe it isn't goodbye for you....... maybe this blog will inspire you to write your own humor blog and continue to brighten other peoples' days!

Thanks again everyone!
The Contributing Team

A Great Yet Terrible Time

Ever since I was born, I have had to deal with cerebral palsy.  This is a movement disorder which impairs motor skills and sometimes speech.  It is caused by damage to the brain.  In my case, the cerebral palsy causes me to walk on my left toe (instead of heel first) and avoid bearing weight on my left side.  In February of 2014, I had surgery that helped to fix my gait.  We had considered this surgery for several months and had finally decided to go ahead with it.  The surgical procedure was as follows:  The surgeon would slice my leg open, saw my femur in two,  rotate it,  and reattach it with a plate and screws.  He would also lengthen my left calf and hamstring muscles.  The surgery was to take place at Cincinnati Children's hospital. 

            The day before the surgery, my parents drove me down to Cincinnati.  I was not supposed to eat after 9:00 p.m., or drink after 3:00 a.m.  The surgery was to start between 7:00 and 8:00 the next morning.  That night none of us slept very well because we were anticipating it.

            We got up at about 4:00 a.m. and headed over to the hospital.  After I waited for a little while, a nurse came in and helped me to prepare for the surgery.  I put on a hospital gown and waited.   Soon, it was time.  I said good-bye to my parents and then another nurse wheeled my bed into the operating room.  I climbed onto the operating table.  The doctors gave me laughing gas to help calm me down, and then one of them said: "There's going to be a little poke."  I felt the little poke, and soon after that didn't remember anything else for a good long while. 

            When I woke up, I was lying in a hospital bed with both legs immobilized.  I tapped on the hard, red cast with my hand:  It extended from my left hip all the way down to my toes.  I then thought to myself:  "Why can't I move my right knee?  The doctor was only supposed to operate on my left leg."  For some reason, both of my legs were immobilized.  I heard my parents' voices asking me how I was doing.  They told me the doctor had found that my right hamstring was quite tight, so he had lengthened it during the surgery.  Within the first half hour of my awakening, when I was still having trouble talking, I managed to croak :  "What's for dinner?"  This is one of my all-time favorite questions to ask my mom most days.

            I felt quite sleepy and drugged from the anesthesia, and I also still had an epidural in my back:  This was a small needle which fed medicine into my spinal cord to stop the pain.  The medicine numbed everything from the needle to partway down my legs.  This meant that I had to have a catheter put in.  Luckily, the doctors did this while I was asleep.  Once I had regained consciousness, a nurse wheeled me down to a hospital room, and I rested there for a while.  I had to eat ice chips before I was allowed to eat anything more filling.  After a full six hours of eating nothing but ice chips, I was quite hungry and ready for something more substantial.  However, they still wouldn't allow normal food.  All I could eat was Jell-O.  After eating a few cups of Jell-O I was almost ready for bed.  Finally, the nurse said that I could eat real food, so we ordered a dinner roll and a muffin (which was basically a cupcake).  I ate the roll and saved the cupcake for the next day.

            The next morning, I ordered an omelet for breakfast.  This omelet had ham, cheese, green peppers, and onions inside of it.  It was the ham that I enjoyed the most.  I enjoyed it so much that after I got home, my dad challenged himself to make an omelet that I thought was better than the "hospital omelet."  After breakfast each day, a team of people in white suits came in to ask me how my pain was.  I always said that it wasn't terrible.  The pain team, and other doctors and nurses, commented on my stuffed crocodile peeking out from under the sheets.  My six-year-old sister had sent her favorite stuffed animal along to help comfort me during the surgery.  It was a very generous gift.

            One time, the nurse gave me some morphine for pain.  After a few minutes, I began to feel very drugged and loopy.  It was about this time that someone helped me onto a bedside commode so that I could try to go to the bathroom.  This did not go very well, because I felt so drugged that I just wanted to go to sleep.  Another time, my sheets suddenly felt very wet.  We discovered that my catheter tubing had come unhooked. My cast could get wet! My room suddenly filled with nurses who scrambled to reattach the tubing.  As they said, catheter tubing usually never came unhooked, but mine somehow did.  Instead of the cast, my knee immobilizer got wet.  The nurses did not give me a new knee immobilizer; they just let the existing one dry.

            I hated wearing the knee immobilizer, especially at night.  I had to wear it to keep my muscles stretched out.  It was uncomfortable, and quite restrictive.  The knee immobilizer was a black piece of fabric that wrapped around my leg.  Ten Velcro straps held my leg against metal strips inside of it.  I had to wear one knee immobilizer (and sometimes two) most nights for almost a year after my surgery. 

            One day at the hospital a physical therapist helped me to get out of the bed and stand up for the first time after my surgery.  Standing up made my leg hurt, and made me feel lightheaded.  The physical therapist once again helped me to get onto the bedside commode.  I had a lot of trouble getting back onto the bed, so much trouble that I cried.  The day before I went home, I was able to get into a wheelchair and go to a playroom.  I played video games for a while there, and then I went back to my room.

            The day that I went home, my dad had to lay a plastic crate between the middle seats of our van so that I could lay my legs across them.  When we got home, there was a big sign across the garage door which said "Welcome Home."  My siblings and grandparents had made it.  My dad pushed my wheelchair into the house and the rehab began.  I have gone through a lot, but it has been worth it.

- D.E. Frangipani

You Had One Job

Life is tough. And everybody makes mistakes, right? Some people's mistakes are just funnier than others....

1. Well... It's juicy all right.

2. In what world!?

3. Another unachievable beauty standard.

4. 3rst? Thirst? A pun or just stupidity? The world may never know...

5. I never really liked McDonalds, but really?

6. Oh boy, I just love duck back riding!

7. Okay.

8. Okay.

9. Didn't you hear? Buzz is going to be in The Age Of Ultron!

10. I'm not sure grocery stores know what bacon is...

11. Yeah, that's really useful.



12. Popcorn, Popcorn, Baby just didn't catch on...



13. I think this is how WWIII will start.



14. He wishes...



If you were feeling like a failure, I hope this made you change your mind (unless you were one of the people who did these things...  in that case at least you know you are not alone.)
 Have you ever seen something like these? Have you ever done one yourself? Which one made you laugh the most? Let me know in the comments!

Ice Ice Baby

Let's talk about ice, not the kind you put in Cola but the kind you slip on.When you slip on ice it can be embarrassing and quite hard to play off. Some people laugh, others brush themselves off and walk on, while some just sit and cry. No matter what you do it's probably best to admit that slipping on ice is hilarious, unless, of course the victim is injured, then laughing is questionable.


WARNING: If you live in an area that gets cold enough to snow these gifs might bring back memories of your own incidents, so watch at your own risk.

 He sells ice for a living and still can't manage to skate.

Ice is even hard for robots.

                                    This poor guy just wants to shovel the side walk.

Why do I get the feeling the news station created this dangerous ice slab? Watch the full video here

http://youtu.be/oT9z87GNL_g .

                                            No words could console this poor guy .

                                   Anyone can break dance when there's ice involved.

He just can't get a handle on it.

And finally, if you feel like watching a six minute long video of people slipping check this video out: 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/19/alan-andersen-bacontfm-ice-slip_n_4816325.html

Let us know which fail was your favorite!

How to...Get Stuck in a Tree

There are several ways to get stuck in a tree. The easiest way is to simply climb up and suddenly find you cannot climb down because a branch fell off, you’re too scared to go back down, or because you’re caught in the tree. If this ever happens to you, there are several things you can do--try to climb down anyway, jump (you may want to try and jump on something like a trampoline, but that is not always an option.), yell till someone climbs up and helps you, or stay up there forever. If you are planning on that last one, I suggest you bring snacks, blankets and something to do. Choose a tree with several comfy perches and without creatures that bite. Now, I know you are all dying to find out how I know so much about climbing trees and getting stuck in them. It just so happens that I could be considered a tree-climbing expert. I’ve done it for years. I’ve gotten stuck. I’ve also had some pretty dramatic "falling-out-of-trees" experiences. I’ve also watched my siblings in numerous tree-climbing predicaments. My youngest sister managed to get trapped in a tree two years ago. It was autumn and the chill of winter was in the air. My siblings had been rolling in a pile of leaves and then they decided to climb the tree next to the pile of leaves. Things were all going swell until Ellie got stuck. I was calmly called by my brother,  “Summer, Mom needs you to bring her a ladder.” I calmly started searching for a ladder. There was a step ladder in the basement, but I thought she probably wanted the big ladder in the garage. I hunted around in the garage and then walked out into the yard to ask where the big ladder was or if the smaller ladder would be okay. I never really got to ask because Mom started yelling before I could. “Get the ladder! It’s in the basement! Hurry up, you sloth!” She was next to Ellie, who was perched in the first branches of the tree...except she wasn’t. Her knee was jammed in between the two main boughs and she was completely stuck. How she managed to do it is still a mystery. I picked up the pace a little and swiftly brought the ladder. I wasn’t fast enough, and Mom yelled at me to “run!” When I got there, I had more time to examine the situation. Slippers were brought out for Ellie’s ice cold feet. She could now stand on the ladder instead of being held up by my mother. Mom told me to go inside and call my father and inform him that he would have to come home from watching the basketball game if Ellie wasn’t unstuck in five minutes. Dad suggested that we try and pry her knee out with a wrench or a screwdriver. I related the information to Mom and decided to go inside out of the cold. Half a minute later, Ellie had been magically freed. Mom had managed to chip away the bark around Ellie’s knee.The ending was very anti-climatic. I was secretly hoping for a 911 call or at the very least the involvement of a chainsaw. 
I have other tree stories as well--like the time Anna was hanging from her knees to show off and the branch broke or when I climbed up a tree to get a piece of fruit and fainted upon seeing that the branch right next to me was so covered in fire ants that you couldn’t see any bark or when my little brother climbed trees at the age of two and got stuck...every time, but I’ll end with one of my favorites.

All the members of my family agree that Rambo was the best dog ever. He was just so joyful. One of his many talents was his ability to tree people. Rambo’s favorite game was chase. A trail went by our house and was well used. Sometimes, unsuspecting travelers would get worried at the sight of Rambo and try to run away from him. This was a bad idea. If they walked, Rambo would ignore them on the grounds that they were being extremely boring, but running meant that they were up for a chase. One time a boy was riding by on a bike and got so scared when Rambo started to run after him that he jumped off his bike onto a tree. A friend of ours watched the whole thing and laughed her head off before calling Rambo away. Eventually the smart people learned to walk or ride by very slowly, and everyone else found an alternate route. Our trail eventually became more like the road less traveled.

-Summer

Mad Libs with a Mad Man

Hey, guys, it's me, Jordan. You may know already, but if you don't, then let me let you in on a little secret. I'm crazy. I'm just kidding, but that is the most common adjective applied to my name. Wait a second. Crazy? Adjective? How did I know what I was writing about? Dun, dun, DUUUUN! That's right guys, we're doing Mad Libs.
If you don't know, Mad Libs are word games. Basically, when you are asked for a certain type of word, you give it. For instance, I ask you for an adjective and you answer, let's say, blue. That may come out as blue candy or blue face. It does get a little crazy, just like me, but that's the point. So without further ado...

Mad Lib #1

I love to Trick (Verb).video games. I can play them day and Candy Cane (Noun)! My mom and Job (Noun).are not too happy with my Kicking (Verb Ending with ING).so much time in front of the television House (Noun). Although Dad believes that these Awesome (Adjective).games help children develop hand-eye (Body Part).coordination and improve their learning Kangaroos (Plural Noun), he also seems to think they have Horrible(Adjective) side effects on one's Heart (Body Part). Both of my Wars (Plural Noun) think this is due to a Cold(Adjective) use of violence in the majority of the Killer Alligators (Plural Noun). Finally, we all arrived at a Nice(Adjective) compromise: After dinner I can play 98 (Number) hours of video games, provided I help clear the Gnat (Noun).and wash the Spark Plugs (Plural Noun).


Mad Lib #2

Now is your chance to enter this Pretty (Adjective) contest. Anyone, and we mean anyone, can enter this Friendly (Adjective).contest. Just follow these Naïve (Adjective).rules:

Write down in 23 (Number).words or less why you think that Wyatt (Person You Know).should be elected "Polar Bear (Noun) of the Year." Remember, he does not know that you think so Kindly(Adjective) of him. First prize will be a deluxe three-speed Mexican Jumping Bean (Noun), plus a year's supply of Bread (Type of Food). Second prize is a 21-foot Hypnosis (Noun). Third prize is a full-color Pokémon (Noun), plus a set of Otters (Plural Noun). Each entry must be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed Dream (Noun). Decision of the Rodents (Plural Noun) will be announced in 2098 (Year) and will be final. In the event of a tie, duplicate Drums (Plural Noun) will be awarded.


That one was a good one. I'd love a full-color Pokémon and a pair of Otters. If you're wondering why I put those parenthetical statements next to my answers, it's so you can play as well. Did you guys get any thing funny? If so let us know in the comments below. See yah!

-Jordan Smith