Out of the Mouth of Babes.......

Hey, everybody! It’s me, Ali! Today I’m going to give you a taste of home – literally. I wanted to share some funny statements made by my brothers and I. Before I begin though, I will give you a little of my family background: I have three brothers named Alex, Anthony, & Aaron. Alex and Anthony are older than me and Aaron is a year younger. So, have fun reading funny little blurbs from our young childhood days!  

When Anthony was three, Mom began working on teaching him different colors. To Mom’s dismay, he called red, green and yellow fire truck, tractor and sunshine!

One day, while Mom was changing my newborn brother, Aaron’s diaper, three-year-old Anthony excitedly announced, “Look, Aaron’s electrical cord fell off!”…..referring to his umbilical cord.

A quote from Mom about Anthony when he was 4: “Apparently I occasionally tell you (Anthony), ‘You’re going to make me lose my patience’ because one day you said to me, ‘Mommy, I didn’t lose your patience today!’ “

A statement made by Anthony when he turned 4: “I’m growing big, my head is clear up to my hair!”  

One day 5-year-old Anthony told someone, “We have 3 kids in our family: Alex, Aaron and me.”  When asked, “What about Ali?”  Anthony replied, “Oh, she’s a girl!”

When I was little, I liked to climb in bed with the boys.  One evening Anthony said, “I sure hope Ali doesn’t wake me tonight ‘cause I’m desausted!”  

One day Anthony, who was six, sat on the steps with our song books, Bibles, and dollies. He said to me, “Ali, you sit up here in the valcony (balcony).”  “Okay,” I replied, “And you be the creature (preacher).”

A highlight of the year I turned five was raising baby chicks and butchering them.   Quite a learning experience for my whole family!  The morning after butchering, as we were sitting at the breakfast table, I said out of the blue, “I’m sure glad I’m not a chicken!”

A statement made by my brother, Alex, when he was six: “Someday I’m going to be an angel, Mom, but I don’t know how I’ll grow wings!” 

One evening as Mom and Dad were driving home from church, six-year-old Alex looked up at the sky and said, “God is up in heaven.  I can’t see God.  When is Jesus going to come?  Wait, I think I see Jesus’ feet coming down now!”

Another statement made by six-year-old Alex “How did God make Anthony?  Did he just put his head and arms together?” 

One day my little brother Aaron, who was about three, showed Mom his arm and said, “Look, Mom! I’m growing fur (hair) just like Dad!”

A statement made by 7-year-old Aaron when he wanted a haircut during harvest season: “Mom, when are you going to combine my hair?

-Ali Gator

Unique Cat Videos

Hey, everyone! What is one thing that is guaranteed to make us laugh? Cat videos! Here are two cat videos for you. The first one is a compilation of many different videos, and the second is a unique one I bet you've never seen before. Enjoy!

Enjoy the corny opening!




-Shadey Lady

If It Fits, I Sits.

Maybe you've heard of the term "if it fits, I sits." If not, you are in for a real treat (if you have you are still in for a treat)! It's making fun of the fact that cats always seem to get themselves into sticky situations. So, let's all have a good time by enjoying the stupidity (or maybe these were the product of an evil genius plan gone wrong. You never know with cats...) of these furry friends.



" Bow to me, hooman, or I will destroy you from inside my indestructible robot!"



It's like a little kitty muffin!



The term "if the shoe fits" just took on a whole new meaning...



From that moment on his nickname became "Flour". He was not very happy about this.



What in the world did this cat think he was doing?



Seriously, how the heck do cats do this?



So, cats love boxes...



Even big cats!...



And they don't seem to care what size the box is.



Apparently, it's not just cats who have taken on the "If it fits, I sits" mentality. Dogs seem to get in on the action, too.



Classy.



I guess foxes like it too.



And birds!



Snakes, too!



And even horses.

So, what do you think? Are you going to adopt the mentality "if it fits, I sits", like so many of our furry friends? No? Probably a wise choice. You don't want to end up like this guy...



Which picture was your favorite? Has your pet ever done anything like this before? Let me know in the comments!

~ Irma Gersh

Some Gut-Busters

Hey, everybody! Since this is a comedy blog, I think it's time to get some jokes on here so you can tell all your friends and family! Give me some feed back once you finish getting off the floor from laughing so hard. I'd like to hear from you guys about what you think of this post and if I should keep on looking for more gut-busters. Comment on which one is your favorite! I hope you enjoy!


     The Teacher says to the class: Whoever stands up in class is stupid.
     (Nobody stands up)
     Teacher: I said whoever stands up is STUPID!
     (Little Johnny stands up)
     Teacher: Johnny, do you really think you are stupid?
     Johnny: No, Miss, I just thought you were lonely, because you're the only one standing up.
 

     I was at a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized that I really needed to pass some gas. The music that was playing was really loud, so I timed my gas to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I realized that a lot of people were staring at me. That's when I realized I was listening to my iPod.
 

     Teacher: Who ever answers my next question gets to go home early today.
     (One boy throws his backpack out the window)
     Teacher: Who threw that backpack out the window?!
     Boy: I did, and I'm going home now.


     Bubba was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss calls his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yeah, Tom and I are old friends. I can prove it, too." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Cruise's door. Sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right on in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that him knowing Tom Cruise is just lucky.
"No, no, just name someone else," Bubba says.
"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over.
"Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee."
His boss is very shaken by now, but still isn't totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope for a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in the Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eyes among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me go upstairs and I'll come out with the Pope on the balcony." He disappears into the crowd, heading toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time  Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony, and the man next to me said, 'Who's that man on the balcony with Bubba?'" 


 - Bear Hugger44

True or False?

Hey, guys! So the idea behind this post is, I'm going to tell you three stories. Then, in the comments, you have to guess whether or not the story/stories are true or if they are false. Let's begin!

Story 1- I woke up at 7:45 am and decided I wanted to rewatch the Dark Knight. I put the disk in and sat on the couch. I opened a forum on my laptop and started roleplaying as I watched. When it finished, I hit play again. And again. And again. In total, I ended up watching this movie 8 times in one day.

True or False?

Story 2- I went on a business trip with my dad. We were driving in the beautiful state of Vermont when the GPS gave us a sudden direction to 'TURN LEFT NOW!' He yanked the wheel hard and we made the turn. A couple miles down the road, Dad looked in his rearview mirror. A jacked-up truck--seriously, it was practically a Monster Truck--was following us. To test this theory, Dad pulled to the side. The big truck tried to corner us. They were really bad at doing a roadblock though, and Dad easily drove our van around them.

The truck followed us for a long period of time, before a white car joined in on the chase. Now both of these vehicles were chasing us. Then, another vehicle pulled out of the driveway and stopped in front of us. Dad started backing up and the truck and car tried to block us. Dad stopped, but the truck kept coming at us. The driver opened his door and hung out, yelling who knows what at my Dad. My dad went off the road slightly and got past the road block.

We sped away. Dad kept looking into the mirror to see if they were following us. He pulled off the road into this camping-type area. It was getting dark so, to avoid being found, Dad turned off the head lights and slowly creeped along the path. An off shoot led away from the camping area, and Dad took it. We parked there for a few minutes. At this point, eight-year-old me is freaked out of his mind. Eventually, Dad decided it was safe enough to pull out and try and find our way back. Ahead, we saw cop lights, so Dad headed in that direction. We got pulled over by the cop and Dad was about to launch into this story, when the cop comes to the door and says, "We have reports that you are driving recklessly." My Dad stares at the cop before going into his story. He tells the guy what happened, and that he would've stopped but I was there and he didn't know what those guys would do.

The cop walked back to his car and sat, talking to someone. Dad looked in his mirror. "You've gotta be kidding me," Dad said. In the passenger seat, was the passenger of the white car. The cop comes back and says he's sorry and that it won't happen again. It turns out that the deputy of the town we were in was related to the entire posse. Dad asked for directions back to the road we needed, and we drove off. I still think we should've pressed charges for scaring an eight-year-old boy to tears.

True or False?

Story 3- When I turned ten, I ran downstairs to open my presents. My entire family was awake, which was in and of itself strange seeing as it was a Saturday, and it was only 9:00 am. They said happy birthday to me and stuff, but wouldn't let me open my presents. In about an hour, I found out why. Grandpa and Grandma came in and said happy birthday. Grandpa had a gift behind his back, but that was going to be the last gift I opened. I opened all my gifts and my day was perfect. Then Grandpa set down a square-ish looking box in front of me. I ripped it open and found a cage with a tiny turtle in it.

"SCORE!" I yelled. "A brand new pet!" Grandpa was a zoologist, so he often gave pets as presents, but he had never given me one before. Grandpa told me about some special contests in the area that I could train the turtle for. I dubbed the turtle's name Splash. I know, real inventive. Over the next few months, I really got into training my turtle to do awesome tricks and cool moves. After only three months of preparation, I started entering contests. Splash and I were actually pretty good at it, and we won 8 competitions. This qualified us to go to the Regional Grand Championship. I almost won, even got to the final round, before Splash was beaten by some punk's lizard. The worst part of all was that I didn't even get a trophy. I got some stupid Certificate, which basically said, "Good Job." I may never get over Splash. He died in 2000.

True or False?

Well, that's it! Which of these stories are true? Which of them are false? You're guess is as good as mine. Except not...

~Jordan Smith