Hey, everybody! Since this is a comedy blog, I think it's time to get some jokes on here so you can tell all your friends and family! Give me some feed back once you finish getting off the floor from laughing so hard. I'd like to hear from you guys about what you think of this post and if I should keep on looking for more gut-busters. Comment on which one is your favorite! I hope you enjoy!
The Teacher says to the class: Whoever stands up in class is stupid.
(Nobody stands up)
Teacher: I said whoever stands up is STUPID!
(Little Johnny stands up)
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think you are stupid?
Johnny: No, Miss, I just thought you were lonely, because you're the only one standing up.
I was at a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized that I really needed to pass some gas. The music that was playing was really loud, so I timed my gas to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I realized that a lot of people were staring at me. That's when I realized I was listening to my iPod.
Teacher: Who ever answers my next question gets to go home early today.
(One boy throws his backpack out the window)
Teacher: Who threw that backpack out the window?!
Boy: I did, and I'm going home now.
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know
everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss calls his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yeah, Tom and I are old friends. I can prove it, too." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Cruise's door. Sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right on in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that him knowing Tom Cruise is just lucky.
"No, no, just name someone else," Bubba says.
"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over.
"Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee."
His boss is very shaken by now, but still isn't totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope for a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in the Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eyes among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me go upstairs and I'll come out with the Pope on the balcony." He disappears into the crowd, heading toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony, and the man next to me said, 'Who's that man on the balcony with Bubba?'"
- Bear Hugger44
