How to...Get Stuck in a Tree

There are several ways to get stuck in a tree. The easiest way is to simply climb up and suddenly find you cannot climb down because a branch fell off, you’re too scared to go back down, or because you’re caught in the tree. If this ever happens to you, there are several things you can do--try to climb down anyway, jump (you may want to try and jump on something like a trampoline, but that is not always an option.), yell till someone climbs up and helps you, or stay up there forever. If you are planning on that last one, I suggest you bring snacks, blankets and something to do. Choose a tree with several comfy perches and without creatures that bite. Now, I know you are all dying to find out how I know so much about climbing trees and getting stuck in them. It just so happens that I could be considered a tree-climbing expert. I’ve done it for years. I’ve gotten stuck. I’ve also had some pretty dramatic "falling-out-of-trees" experiences. I’ve also watched my siblings in numerous tree-climbing predicaments. My youngest sister managed to get trapped in a tree two years ago. It was autumn and the chill of winter was in the air. My siblings had been rolling in a pile of leaves and then they decided to climb the tree next to the pile of leaves. Things were all going swell until Ellie got stuck. I was calmly called by my brother,  “Summer, Mom needs you to bring her a ladder.” I calmly started searching for a ladder. There was a step ladder in the basement, but I thought she probably wanted the big ladder in the garage. I hunted around in the garage and then walked out into the yard to ask where the big ladder was or if the smaller ladder would be okay. I never really got to ask because Mom started yelling before I could. “Get the ladder! It’s in the basement! Hurry up, you sloth!” She was next to Ellie, who was perched in the first branches of the tree...except she wasn’t. Her knee was jammed in between the two main boughs and she was completely stuck. How she managed to do it is still a mystery. I picked up the pace a little and swiftly brought the ladder. I wasn’t fast enough, and Mom yelled at me to “run!” When I got there, I had more time to examine the situation. Slippers were brought out for Ellie’s ice cold feet. She could now stand on the ladder instead of being held up by my mother. Mom told me to go inside and call my father and inform him that he would have to come home from watching the basketball game if Ellie wasn’t unstuck in five minutes. Dad suggested that we try and pry her knee out with a wrench or a screwdriver. I related the information to Mom and decided to go inside out of the cold. Half a minute later, Ellie had been magically freed. Mom had managed to chip away the bark around Ellie’s knee.The ending was very anti-climatic. I was secretly hoping for a 911 call or at the very least the involvement of a chainsaw. 
I have other tree stories as well--like the time Anna was hanging from her knees to show off and the branch broke or when I climbed up a tree to get a piece of fruit and fainted upon seeing that the branch right next to me was so covered in fire ants that you couldn’t see any bark or when my little brother climbed trees at the age of two and got stuck...every time, but I’ll end with one of my favorites.

All the members of my family agree that Rambo was the best dog ever. He was just so joyful. One of his many talents was his ability to tree people. Rambo’s favorite game was chase. A trail went by our house and was well used. Sometimes, unsuspecting travelers would get worried at the sight of Rambo and try to run away from him. This was a bad idea. If they walked, Rambo would ignore them on the grounds that they were being extremely boring, but running meant that they were up for a chase. One time a boy was riding by on a bike and got so scared when Rambo started to run after him that he jumped off his bike onto a tree. A friend of ours watched the whole thing and laughed her head off before calling Rambo away. Eventually the smart people learned to walk or ride by very slowly, and everyone else found an alternate route. Our trail eventually became more like the road less traveled.

-Summer

Mad Libs with a Mad Man

Hey, guys, it's me, Jordan. You may know already, but if you don't, then let me let you in on a little secret. I'm crazy. I'm just kidding, but that is the most common adjective applied to my name. Wait a second. Crazy? Adjective? How did I know what I was writing about? Dun, dun, DUUUUN! That's right guys, we're doing Mad Libs.
If you don't know, Mad Libs are word games. Basically, when you are asked for a certain type of word, you give it. For instance, I ask you for an adjective and you answer, let's say, blue. That may come out as blue candy or blue face. It does get a little crazy, just like me, but that's the point. So without further ado...

Mad Lib #1

I love to Trick (Verb).video games. I can play them day and Candy Cane (Noun)! My mom and Job (Noun).are not too happy with my Kicking (Verb Ending with ING).so much time in front of the television House (Noun). Although Dad believes that these Awesome (Adjective).games help children develop hand-eye (Body Part).coordination and improve their learning Kangaroos (Plural Noun), he also seems to think they have Horrible(Adjective) side effects on one's Heart (Body Part). Both of my Wars (Plural Noun) think this is due to a Cold(Adjective) use of violence in the majority of the Killer Alligators (Plural Noun). Finally, we all arrived at a Nice(Adjective) compromise: After dinner I can play 98 (Number) hours of video games, provided I help clear the Gnat (Noun).and wash the Spark Plugs (Plural Noun).


Mad Lib #2

Now is your chance to enter this Pretty (Adjective) contest. Anyone, and we mean anyone, can enter this Friendly (Adjective).contest. Just follow these Naïve (Adjective).rules:

Write down in 23 (Number).words or less why you think that Wyatt (Person You Know).should be elected "Polar Bear (Noun) of the Year." Remember, he does not know that you think so Kindly(Adjective) of him. First prize will be a deluxe three-speed Mexican Jumping Bean (Noun), plus a year's supply of Bread (Type of Food). Second prize is a 21-foot Hypnosis (Noun). Third prize is a full-color Pokémon (Noun), plus a set of Otters (Plural Noun). Each entry must be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed Dream (Noun). Decision of the Rodents (Plural Noun) will be announced in 2098 (Year) and will be final. In the event of a tie, duplicate Drums (Plural Noun) will be awarded.


That one was a good one. I'd love a full-color Pokémon and a pair of Otters. If you're wondering why I put those parenthetical statements next to my answers, it's so you can play as well. Did you guys get any thing funny? If so let us know in the comments below. See yah!

-Jordan Smith

Unique Cat Videos

Hey, everyone! What is one thing that is guaranteed to make us laugh? Cat videos! Here are two cat videos for you. The first one is a compilation of many different videos, and the second is a unique one I bet you've never seen before. Enjoy!

Enjoy the corny opening!




-Shadey Lady

Funny Facebook Statuses

People on Facebook can be stupid. We all know that. Some should really just get off the Internet and save themselves from humiliation. But a lot of the time, they can also be really funny. So what I have for you today is some hilarious Facebook statuses that had me--literally--rolling on the floor laughing.

I'm not sure which scares me more... that 'Chervon' didn't know the film Titanic wasn't the real Titanic or that 'Angelica' wasn't sure if it was a remake.

Poor guy didn't know what he was getting into.

The logic....

Poor little Riley =(

The brain capacity of this woman concerns me.

Not really someone on Facebook being stupid, but really, I just couldn't resist. #trolol

Props for trying, Captain Jack. I give you props.

Granite, granted. Same thing, right?

And lastly, superheroes on Facebook.

Thanks for reading, guys! Leave which post was your favorite in the comments down below! See ya Tuesday!

-Dani Lynn

If It Fits, I Sits.

Maybe you've heard of the term "if it fits, I sits." If not, you are in for a real treat (if you have you are still in for a treat)! It's making fun of the fact that cats always seem to get themselves into sticky situations. So, let's all have a good time by enjoying the stupidity (or maybe these were the product of an evil genius plan gone wrong. You never know with cats...) of these furry friends.



" Bow to me, hooman, or I will destroy you from inside my indestructible robot!"



It's like a little kitty muffin!



The term "if the shoe fits" just took on a whole new meaning...



From that moment on his nickname became "Flour". He was not very happy about this.



What in the world did this cat think he was doing?



Seriously, how the heck do cats do this?



So, cats love boxes...



Even big cats!...



And they don't seem to care what size the box is.



Apparently, it's not just cats who have taken on the "If it fits, I sits" mentality. Dogs seem to get in on the action, too.



Classy.



I guess foxes like it too.



And birds!



Snakes, too!



And even horses.

So, what do you think? Are you going to adopt the mentality "if it fits, I sits", like so many of our furry friends? No? Probably a wise choice. You don't want to end up like this guy...



Which picture was your favorite? Has your pet ever done anything like this before? Let me know in the comments!

~ Irma Gersh

Pried and Prejidus - Hillbilly Edtion

 Hey guys, I'm back with some more funny stuff. Check out my new video on my Youtube channel, Bear Hugger44. Me and my buddies had a lot of fun making this video, so I hope you give us some love and check it out! Leave me some feedback about the video and some suggestions on what we should do next. I hope you enjoy!

Video at http://youtu.be/rffFpmsS9vI or Youtube.com/BearHugger44

-BearHugger44

Some Gut-Busters

Hey, everybody! Since this is a comedy blog, I think it's time to get some jokes on here so you can tell all your friends and family! Give me some feed back once you finish getting off the floor from laughing so hard. I'd like to hear from you guys about what you think of this post and if I should keep on looking for more gut-busters. Comment on which one is your favorite! I hope you enjoy!


     The Teacher says to the class: Whoever stands up in class is stupid.
     (Nobody stands up)
     Teacher: I said whoever stands up is STUPID!
     (Little Johnny stands up)
     Teacher: Johnny, do you really think you are stupid?
     Johnny: No, Miss, I just thought you were lonely, because you're the only one standing up.
 

     I was at a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized that I really needed to pass some gas. The music that was playing was really loud, so I timed my gas to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I realized that a lot of people were staring at me. That's when I realized I was listening to my iPod.
 

     Teacher: Who ever answers my next question gets to go home early today.
     (One boy throws his backpack out the window)
     Teacher: Who threw that backpack out the window?!
     Boy: I did, and I'm going home now.


     Bubba was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss calls his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yeah, Tom and I are old friends. I can prove it, too." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Cruise's door. Sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right on in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that him knowing Tom Cruise is just lucky.
"No, no, just name someone else," Bubba says.
"President Obama," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over.
"Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee."
His boss is very shaken by now, but still isn't totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope for a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in the Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eyes among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me go upstairs and I'll come out with the Pope on the balcony." He disappears into the crowd, heading toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time  Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony, and the man next to me said, 'Who's that man on the balcony with Bubba?'" 


 - Bear Hugger44

True or False?

Hey, guys! So the idea behind this post is, I'm going to tell you three stories. Then, in the comments, you have to guess whether or not the story/stories are true or if they are false. Let's begin!

Story 1- I woke up at 7:45 am and decided I wanted to rewatch the Dark Knight. I put the disk in and sat on the couch. I opened a forum on my laptop and started roleplaying as I watched. When it finished, I hit play again. And again. And again. In total, I ended up watching this movie 8 times in one day.

True or False?

Story 2- I went on a business trip with my dad. We were driving in the beautiful state of Vermont when the GPS gave us a sudden direction to 'TURN LEFT NOW!' He yanked the wheel hard and we made the turn. A couple miles down the road, Dad looked in his rearview mirror. A jacked-up truck--seriously, it was practically a Monster Truck--was following us. To test this theory, Dad pulled to the side. The big truck tried to corner us. They were really bad at doing a roadblock though, and Dad easily drove our van around them.

The truck followed us for a long period of time, before a white car joined in on the chase. Now both of these vehicles were chasing us. Then, another vehicle pulled out of the driveway and stopped in front of us. Dad started backing up and the truck and car tried to block us. Dad stopped, but the truck kept coming at us. The driver opened his door and hung out, yelling who knows what at my Dad. My dad went off the road slightly and got past the road block.

We sped away. Dad kept looking into the mirror to see if they were following us. He pulled off the road into this camping-type area. It was getting dark so, to avoid being found, Dad turned off the head lights and slowly creeped along the path. An off shoot led away from the camping area, and Dad took it. We parked there for a few minutes. At this point, eight-year-old me is freaked out of his mind. Eventually, Dad decided it was safe enough to pull out and try and find our way back. Ahead, we saw cop lights, so Dad headed in that direction. We got pulled over by the cop and Dad was about to launch into this story, when the cop comes to the door and says, "We have reports that you are driving recklessly." My Dad stares at the cop before going into his story. He tells the guy what happened, and that he would've stopped but I was there and he didn't know what those guys would do.

The cop walked back to his car and sat, talking to someone. Dad looked in his mirror. "You've gotta be kidding me," Dad said. In the passenger seat, was the passenger of the white car. The cop comes back and says he's sorry and that it won't happen again. It turns out that the deputy of the town we were in was related to the entire posse. Dad asked for directions back to the road we needed, and we drove off. I still think we should've pressed charges for scaring an eight-year-old boy to tears.

True or False?

Story 3- When I turned ten, I ran downstairs to open my presents. My entire family was awake, which was in and of itself strange seeing as it was a Saturday, and it was only 9:00 am. They said happy birthday to me and stuff, but wouldn't let me open my presents. In about an hour, I found out why. Grandpa and Grandma came in and said happy birthday. Grandpa had a gift behind his back, but that was going to be the last gift I opened. I opened all my gifts and my day was perfect. Then Grandpa set down a square-ish looking box in front of me. I ripped it open and found a cage with a tiny turtle in it.

"SCORE!" I yelled. "A brand new pet!" Grandpa was a zoologist, so he often gave pets as presents, but he had never given me one before. Grandpa told me about some special contests in the area that I could train the turtle for. I dubbed the turtle's name Splash. I know, real inventive. Over the next few months, I really got into training my turtle to do awesome tricks and cool moves. After only three months of preparation, I started entering contests. Splash and I were actually pretty good at it, and we won 8 competitions. This qualified us to go to the Regional Grand Championship. I almost won, even got to the final round, before Splash was beaten by some punk's lizard. The worst part of all was that I didn't even get a trophy. I got some stupid Certificate, which basically said, "Good Job." I may never get over Splash. He died in 2000.

True or False?

Well, that's it! Which of these stories are true? Which of them are false? You're guess is as good as mine. Except not...

~Jordan Smith

The Art of Nicknames

The world’s worst not-bad-enough-to-keep-you-from-missing-school-but-bad-enough-to-annoy-you cold had been raging in our house for over a month. One of my sisters was not being vigilant enough in wiping her nose and was grossing us out. In an attempt to improve this situation, my Mom began calling her Boogers Hang Down when she needed a tissue. Not ones to miss an advantage, my siblings and I have continued calling her this even though it’s not a problem now. With the desire to get revenge, she has been desperately trying to come up with counter-nicknames. She’s tried Fat Face, Fart Face, Pig Face, Fat Pig, and Talks-a-lot. She struck gold when she came up with Running Stream from the Nose for my sister who was still sick. This has now been shortened to plain old Running Stream. I have suggested to her numerous names for myself. The secret is to suggest any names you’d prefer she not call you, and she will never call you them, simply because she thinks you’d like it.

A while before the long, horrible cold incident, the yet-to-be-dubbed Boogers Hang Down embarked on a deal with me, which is usually a bad idea. Her hair is always a rat’s nest when she wakes up, so I had started calling her Bedhead. She was getting annoyed with me so I said she could call me Ernesto de Pantelonez if I could call her Bedhead. She agreed. The trick here was to burst into a smile whenever she called me Ernesto de Pantelonez. It took the fun out of the “mean” nickname for her, and she stopped calling me Ernesto after the second or third time. I’m still ruthless with Bedhead, and whenever she complains, I remind her of our deal.

The nickname thing has been in the family for a while. In fact, my whole family is kind of crazy with nicknames. My dad especially has a long history of assigning people names. When he was a kid he gave everyone in his family “Indian names”. Though most of the names have been lost to time, my grandma’s was rather hard to forget. Buffalo Chip still tells us the story with wry humor. Nowadays, my dad has taken to calling her Baze. His brothers are Jed and Jay. Harold T. Bajarold, Peekerold, Lantern Waist, and Kerosene Lantern were all pet names he called me. He still calls me them occasionally, but most of them have been transferred to my younger siblings. A long time friend of the family calls me Beula and one of my cousins calls me Carlisselle. Another of my cousins has been yoked with the name Abignail, a con artist from the movie Catch Me if You Can. I think I originally gave it to her when she was explaining how she could finagle herself into a sleep-over if she forgot to mention a few details to certain people. I decided to give my little brother the nickname Little Bilbo. It just kind of popped out. Trend setter that I am, several other members of the family have also taken to calling him Little Bilbo or Little Bil for short.

With our history in name making, many more names are sure to follow, and you can put your names into history, too. I’d love to hear your favorite nicknames, and my sister would love to hear of a worthy name for me to rival Boogers Hang Down.

-Summer

Why You Should Use Spell Check

It's even more embarrassing since this sign was next to a main street downtown. Really makes me want to go there! (Note the sarcasm.)

It's quite amusing how one little line can make all the difference. 

What's even worse is that these signs were a short distance away from each other.

                  

                 ~Shadey Lady

Faces In Places

Sometimes I have an over-active imagination. Okay, pretty much all the time. Usually my imagination can be the source of a lot of entertainment. One thing that I always get a kick out of is when an object looks like it has a face. So I've scowered the internet (aka I looked it up on Pinterest) and found the most expressive walls, doorknobs, trees, and food, I could.
For your (and my) viewing pleasure, I present to you...

                                                           Faces In Places!

This mop looks less than thrilled to aid you in your cleaning endeavors. (I wouldn't be very happy either if someone dunked my luscious locks in a bucket of soapy water and started scrubbing the floor with them...)


































                                                                       




I feel as though I am being taunted by this sandwich.





































He looks as though he is bracing himself for the approaching impact of your back in his face!!

I think this telephone overheard something he shouldn't have...



Meanwhile, this... whatever it is, looks like he has seen things that no (imaginary) eyes were meant to see.



I think this is the lawn tool version of Grumpy Cat. Grumpy rake?



Is this piece of wood sad or mad? I can't tell.



I can almost here this tree bark saying, "Oooooooooooooooo!!" It might also be saying, "I'm Groot!"



This stove looks like he's up to something.



This is the look of un-approval you get after eating ten candy bars in a row.



Aw, what a happy little guy he is!



I'm not sure what this thing is, but I think I want to cover it. He looks a little too wacky to be exposed to the public.



Maybe this sewage pipe finally realized what's inside him...



It's almost too cute to eat! Just kidding, I want to eat it.



And the many faces of popcorn!




And finally, in honor of our blog name, a building that looks like a chicken.



Which face was your favorite? Let me know in the comments. And remember to keep an eye out and use your imagination because you never know when you might see the next face in a strange place!

~ Irma Gersh

Summer and the Poison Snake

Summer and the Poison Snake

I've always been rather assertive. At the age of three I told jokes that made people laugh, simply because I told them to. Here is a classic: “The dog went into the house... LAUGH.” Now, in case you're not so sure about this story and not so sure about Why the Chicken Crossed the Road, let me put your mind at ease. My story is hilarious. In fact you're going to laugh every other sentence, click the like button and after posting several comments about how amazing this story is, you'll hit the follow button. Isn't life so much easier when people just tell you what to do? So without further delay, here is the story of me (Summer) and the poisonous snake.

“Summer, come close in the chickens.”

I groaned, “Mo-om! I don't wa-a-ant to!”

“Okay, come on, I'll come with you.” Mom said, trying and failing to get me excited about walking out in the dark to latch the chicken coop. I dragged my feet making sure mom knew I was not pleased. In the United States, you might have to worry about skunks lurking around waiting to spray you, but in the Savannahs of Africa there were snakes to worry about instead.

“Oh!” mom gasped, edging around a white clump of feathers. “Are those chickens?” Mom asked as she spotted a second clump of feathers a few feet away.

“Yes mom, what do you think they are?” I said, my voice held some surprise and it trembled a bit before I could pull myself together.

“Are they sleeping?”

“No mom.” I said flatly, exasperated.

“Are they dead?” She said incredulously.

“Well, what else would they be? Just look at the way they are lying on their sides.”

“Are you sure they're not sleeping?” I don't know how she could think they were sleeping.

“Mom, chickens don't sleep on the ground like that. Besides, they would have moved when you got close to them.” I picked up a stick, first making sure it wasn't a snake and waved it close to the chickens. They didn't stir.

“We should tell dad.” I said, knowing with my amazing intellect that that was the best way to deal with the problem.

“Well let's close in the chickens and go and tell dad.”

“Fine.” I was getting just a bit unhappy about being outside in the dark with two dead chickens at my feet. I walked forward to close in the chickens and then leapt back. I had heard a hissing.

“Did you hear that?!” My voice wavered with real fear.

“Hear what?” Mom asked skeptically.

“That hissing! Didn't you hear it?”

“Noooo.”

I frowned at her. I was not going to close the chicken coop and risk dying. Knowing that I had a longer life ahead of me than my mother, I kindly allowed her to close in the chickens.

Then getting too jumpy and too nervous to carefully examine every stick to make sure it wasn't a snake, I ran back inside.

“Hey dad,” I said my eyes glittering with the excitement of everything. “There are two dead chickens out back, and I heard a hissing in the hen's house.” All my fears had vanished upon entering the brightly lit up and snake-free house.

Dad soon armed himself properly with a plastic baseball bat and a broom. Dressed in a wet white T-shirt with a picture of a globe on it and red shorts he went to vanquish the foe.

All us kids danced around inside waiting for him to return.

Dad soon returned undefeated, or at least not yet dead. He was not quite victorious either. The snake was still alive.

“I'm glad I didn't try to get it. I heard it's hissing, its huge!”

I was flattered and greatly gratified. “See!” I told mom.

Then as dad was too smart to go into combat with the great serpent, everyone decided the best course of action was to call over the neighbor with great snake killing capabilities.

After that everything wrapped up nicely. With two gunshots the snake was dead and everyone rushed outside to behold the fallen foe. It's black scaly dead body twisted in figure eights even after it's head was chopped off. There were lumps in it's scaly profile that told us it had been munching on eggs. The headless corpse finally decided to settle down a bit and it was thrown in the bushes beside our property. It was about four feet long.

My parents weren't so insistent that I close in the chickens after that.

- Summer